Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Drake has all the answers
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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