So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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