It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
