Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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