Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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