Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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