I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
