Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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