I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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