you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
