yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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