I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
