nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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