I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
