I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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