am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize