So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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