I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
