Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
