i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
