apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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