Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
