Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
