Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
