i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
