I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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