I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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