I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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