Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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