Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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