but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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