it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize