(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
