Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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