Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Bring me that man meat
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
