Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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