I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
