Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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