it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize