Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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