Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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