We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
