it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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