Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
