you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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