Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
