Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
