I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
