STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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