I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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