No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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