Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize