Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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