You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize