I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
