I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize