She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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