I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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