my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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