She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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