The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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