A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
