Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
