so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
